So last night I read like 130 pages and finished the book I was reading in order to keep myself busy. I didn't want to think about the appointment looming over me. I was seriously nervous that the nurse was going to demo the steps for the first shot and It was going to hurt so bad that I was going faint or my leg would swell up and I would be rushed to the ER. So I read for 3 hours and after I was done with the book I went to bed. My Husby tried to soothe my worries and make me feel better. He was successful and I drifted to sleep.
Waking up this morning I felt pretty calm but still not thrilled to be going to the appointment. So when the time came I started on my journey out to Seattle to Frmeont to Seattle Gastroenterology. My Husby planned to meet me there so that he could be my support. I probably wouldn't have gone alone. The closer and closer I got to the doctors office the more anxiety I felt about doing the Humira shots. It took me about 1 hour and 15 minutes to get there. I arrived at the parking garage and had a small parking issue. I parked in a spot that had a pole in between two stalls. I tried to park so that my drivers side door would open with out hitting the pole but when I moved forward I bumped the cement wall. So I backed up and ended up with the pole and the farthest edge of my door colliding when I attempted to open it to get out. I had just barely enough space to slide through while adjusting this foot and then that foot. Small victories lol.
Robert and I walked in the door and I got checked in. There were lots of people walking in and out of doors and everytime I saw an MA or anyone who had scrubs on I got really nervous. When I get anxious and nervous or mad or frustrated I cry and my adrenaline starts. My Husby was there to talk me down and make fun of me so that I would laugh and lighten up. The person who finally called my name did not look like any MA I had ever seen. He was quite a sight actually. So this 40's something year old man very tall probably 6'4" and skinny with a full head of dreads calls my name. I was like ok awesome dude but crap now it's time to face my fears.
We walked back to the exam room and the man took my weight, temp, blood pressure, all the usual. We sat in the little chairs and then he said she will be right with you. I was actually under the impression that he would be my instructor at the appointment. So my anxiety built up more and more now that I still didn't know who was coming and when she would be in the room. Suddenly the man reappeared and took us to another room. Just a room switch I suppose. As if they couldn't keep my guessing anymore. By this time the tears started to well in my eyes and my skin felt like it was ready to jump off my body. Then the knock came at the door and a very nice woman walked in. She greeted us and we handed over our Humira Starter Kit. I asked a couple of clarifying questions and also just to prolong and delay the inevitable.
The Humira Box
I didn't know that I took this picture but this is Robert with his hand on my leg trying to comfort me while we wait.
Next we got into how to take the shots. I decided to have her do the first one. The pen has two ends one end is the needle which is concealed up inside the device until you push the button on the top which is on the other side. Both sides have a cap. Once both caps are removed your ready to inject. First she took an alcohol wipe and sanitized the injection area. I decided on the leg being the injection site. It is either done in thigh or the stomach. There was no way I was doing the stomach and I am very glad I didn't want to try it now. The next step is to kinda pinch a large amount of skin, place the needle end of the pen on the skin and apply a small amount of pressure to the skin so that in the middle of the injection you don't accidentally move away and have the needle come out. Last step is pushing and holding the button for about 10 seconds until you hear a swoosh sound and that's how you know the medication is completely done being injected.
Now when the nurse was done I said wow that wasn't too bad till the very last couple seconds and it started to burn. I was surprised and kinda shocked so I got ready to do the next one myself. So I alcohol prepped another area on the same leg, took off the caps, pinched my skin, held the pen to my skin with some pressure and hit that button. Can I just say OMG that freaking hurt so bad!!! I don't know what I did but it hurt from start to finish and I'm really not even sure how I got through that 10 seconds with out pulling that needle out. I started to cry and had to take a minute because it burned and it continued to burn for a minute after I was done. I tried to collect myself for a minute and the nurse says let do the next one. I immediately volunteered Robert. He was more than willing to do it and he was already a pro from helping me with a B-12 shot so it looked like a piece of cake for him. He asked me where I wanted it and 1,2,3 he did it. It felt like the one that the nurse gave me so I decided you know what you can do the last one too. The last one hurt a little more but not anywhere near as bad as the one I gave myself. I wiped up all the little drips of blood as the nurse wrote out directions for the remaining two I will take in two weeks. Before we left she checked my legs to make sure that I wasn't having a reaction and gave me a tissue for the road and we were out of there.
So in the end it wasn't that bad but I don't think there is any way I am ever going to give myself one of these again. If Robert wasn't there it probably would have been a much worse appointment for me so for that I am very thankful!
XOXO
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